I once had an English Bulldog that could talk. I know you’re thinking …..”shut-uuupp” but it’s true.
I took him for a walk one time and strayed a little too far without water so we stopped in at the local tavern for a soda. Now a tavern or bar as they are called in my part of the world is not the kind of place either one of us are comfortable in but they had water and sodas and believe you me, we were thirsty.
In we go, only to be stopped by a big fella known around the world as a bouncer. He said “you can’t bring that dog in here”.
“He is a special dog” I told him.
“What makes him so Special?” asked the Bouncer. He had a sneer on his face I didn’t like.
“This Bulldog can talk” I replied with a sneer of my own.
I guess the bouncer didn’t like being mocked because he grabbed me and was about to throw me out…. I of course won’t let just anybody manhandle me….. ok,ok, I squeaked out “I can prove it, I can prove it…”
The big guy let me go and said “prove it little man and you both can stay but pull any funny stuff and your both out on your ear.”
I wasn’t worried.
I turned to AC and asked “AC, how was the walk over here?” AC said “rruff”.
The bouncer said that wasn’t good enough and pointed to the door.
I quickly turned to AC understanding my first attempt to prove my little buddy could talk failed miserably. “AC… what is this thing called that is hanging over our heads?” I was hoping he would say it was a ceiling but NOOOO…. AC said “rroof”.
The big guy grabbed me again and I immediately started pleading for just one more opportunity to prove AC spoke the English language as well as a smattering of Spanish. The bouncer let me go with a finger in face and said “this is your last chance.”
I turned one last time to AC and asked “AC, who is the greatest baseball player of all time?”
AC said “RRuth”.
As I lay on the ground racked with pain and dust in my face. I look at AC. AC looks at me.
AC says “DiMaggio?”